Insufferable wife.

I was full of drama yesterday.

I hate it when I'm asked "what's wrong?" and the result is a blubbery "I DON'T KNOW!" and "you just don't get it."

Sigh. You'd think being around on this earth for my length of time, I would have developed the ability to read my emotions.

Apparently not.

So psycho wife kicked in, moody, grumpy, and feeling unappreciated.

I've been feeling worn for a while. I've been the one to organize and take care of stuff. B's been chaotically busy at work. And while he's grateful, I don't think he realizes that, hello, it does not take 2 minutes to talk to an insurance company. EVER. Or organize a move. Or a wedding. Or find a new house. Or a carpool.

I made some quasi-flippant remark yesterday, B called me on it, and the drama train rolled into town. "I do so much for you and you call me out on this?"

Oh sigh.

End result: I need to take on less. Breathe more. And when I do something, I can't just let it slide by; B wants to know what happens. I guess I can't get upset if he doesn't realize I have done something. And he's a pretty darn good guy. I think I need to have goals and aspirations, but I also need to realize that I don't have to accomplish them overnight.

I guess it was made worse by the fact that we (finally) decided to have a garage instead of a storage unit, so we dragged 80% of the boxes from the garage into the rooms they need to be unpacked into.

And of course, the big bookshelf that needs to be set up? Couldn't find the freakin' screws. Finally found them around 9pm. And of course, I was then dead-set on putting up the bookshelf that had caused me so much angst. Finished at 10:40, which I regretted at 6 this morning when I left the house for work.

So there I was, in my lovely new home, surrounded by boxes and my lovely husband. And I was blubbering.

Sigh.

And no, I am not pregnant. Just an insufferable wife... well, for Sunday afternoon at least.

Happy

I love my husband. 

That is all. 

Ready for the weekend.

I am so ready for the weekend.

This month has been an exercise in diligence.

But this month, Bob and I almost have no plans. I have to meet one friend for coffee and eventually we want to pack up both our cars with stuff from his place... but otherwise: No plans.

No dinners to go to.
No people to go places with.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

While we love doing things, recently it has been packed so tightly together that we are left needing a weekend from our weekend. Move! Go here! Spend x amount of time then race across town to place y! Get up early.

We both need a weekend to sort of let the weekend guide us.

I think we may go out to dinner, maybe(?) on Saturday. That would be fun. Just the two of us.

Edith Piaf Record

I just got an email that my Edith Piaf record has shipped. I cannot wait to hear her voice coming through our old record player.

Brilliant.

Parental Visitation

My parents are visiting tonight. They live in Southern California, but my dad knows how to fly, so now that he's retired they have this tiny airplane and they hop all over the place. Apparently, this weekend, they're going to some event in Washington. Since they have to practically fly over me, they are stopping by.
(this isn't his airplane, but it's the same type, so you get the idea)
I'm looking forward to seeing them. They want to take B and me out to dinner, but that's kind of hard since there isn't anywhere spectacular to go out to eat. The city where B works: no problem! Lots of places. The city where I work: no problem! Lots of places. But where we live? Um....

I'd be more than happy to cook, but I think my dad wants to avoid me working in the kitchen instead of visiting. Fair point. So I think I'm going to try to nab some food from up here and take it home in the vanpool this afternoon. But, I don't have my car, so if the place I'm thinking of doesn't deliver, then we may be up the creek without a paddle. There are a few chain places (Olive Garden, etc), but hmm.

It's also sort of strange. I normally sort of freak out when my parents visit and clean everything. Right now, we're very SLOWLY unpacking and getting the house set up. So it's understandable that the place isn't in tip-top condition. Plus, B and I work a lot. So, it's like the first time I haven't killed myself preparing for their visit. I do want to rush home tonight and make the bed though....

It's also the first time they'll visit me in a house. I've always had apartments (with the exception of when I house-sat for 6 months). And, it's the first time they're visiting B and me after we're married.

I'm sure it will be fun! I just have to get this food thing sorted out. And they're only here for tonight.

Jedi Master

My boss just called me "padawan."

I guess I'm on my way to becoming a Jedi.

Sweet.

I want the green light saber, please.

Fall

I saw this photo today and realized... fall isn't that far away.
Having lived my childhood in a place that, well, didn't get seasons, I dismissed fall. Now that I'm up here, we get seasons. Not dramatic, -60 degree winters or anything, but seasons none the less.

And I like fall.

I still think winter is my favorite. There's something cozily appealing about the cold outside and the warm inside a house. And, despite the cold, there is bustle about.

But fall... fall is telling. There are days it tells us beware of the cold approaching, but also warmer days reminicent of summer. It tells that the year is ending. Leaves crackle. Trees become bare. Green lingers but slowly faces.

There are those few fabulous weeks of leaves. Bright leaves, of every color. Up here, the trees are mixed in with evergreens, so you have a fabulous blanket of green with color pops over all the foothills.

The mud will return. The rain will pour down. The snowplows (the few out here) will turn into leaf pushers. The views will disappear, covered by an almost-ever-present mist. And when that mist does fade, the mountains will appear, covered in white as if dipped into a gigantic vat of powdered sugar.

Strange how seeing one photo like this will elicit so much feeling. Especially on a day like today, when it is nearly 100 degrees outside. Maybe it's a longing.

But summer's not over yet; there's still a lot to enjoy before those leaves go crunch under my feet.

Candyland

I would love to go see this tomorrow:
http://www.sfexaminer.com/local/Worlds-crookedest-street-to-turn-into-Candyland-53415962.html

They're making Lombard Street (curviest street in the US, right?) into Candyland. And kids from the Children's hospital are playing in the game.

That is just so neat. I immediately sent the link to my father, who was tortured with many a Candyland game (someone described it as "toddler crack") when I was little.

Ernie

This is Ernie. He lives on my desk at work.

He greets me every morning by staring at me like this, usually with his back fin fluttering. I think it's his version of a glare, silently telling me to feed him now. It works. When I do, he flutters away. He likes to stare at me throughout the day, but when he gets very intense about it, he's hungry.

That may sound like I'm personifying him, but I'm not. He is very curious, but when it comes to food, it's a serious stare... flutter flutter... STARE!

Getting back to it.

I was pretty ok with myself at the wedding. In all honesty, I wanted to lose another 10-15 lbs, but I looked right in all the right places for the wedding (and dress), so I wasn't about ready to kill myself over it.

But, post wedding brought on:
1) Oh thank goodness all that planning is over;
2) I can eat like crud because my husband is 130 miles away and that makes me sad;
3) Oh shoot we have to go house hunting now? I'm tired!
4) Oh dear Lord we have to move TWO apartments?
5) We have to unpack and we're oh-so tired.
and finally...
6) I have to drive how far? I need food to keep me awake.

I've gained a few lbs. Shoot!

Quite honestly though, it's not like I regret this. It has been exhausting and stressful stuff! But I must and need to eat better.

So I'm starting today. No more toffees or chocolates as I walk by that one secretary who loves to tempt me with that bowl of goodies. No more! Snacking is my problem, so I need to be careful to eat food that's more filling so I don't fill up on junk as my stomach growls.

Yup, I'm loaded up on the right foods, and I have my jug of tea. I've found that really helps-- having something nearby to sip on. Herbal tea= great.

It's not like I haven't done this before, sadly. But this is NOT that much of an amount compared to a few years ago. I've yo-yo'd since then, but it's been a really short sting yo-yo, not a high number gained or lost. Truly though, as my life becomes more stable, I need to really focus on getting to a point and staying there. I am so much happier when I do. I know what I need to do. I just need to do it. And then monitor. Not like a crazy person, but you know, just keep an eye on it. Splurge, but not all the time.

B and I may go down to see my folks in San Diego at Thanksgiving. That's a good goal point, I think! Plus, that airplane seat will feel better. :)

Besides, I have all these cute suits I can't wear right now. This needs to be remedied. Ugh, how vain does that sound? But really, it's amazing on when you feel better about yourself how much easier it is to get ready in the mornings.