I worry...

I worry about B's car. He hasn't taken it in for a check up in a while and that worries me. It has a rattle that is either its typical engine or a sick sputter.

I worry about us and our commutes. 210 miles between two people is a lot of road to cover every day.

I worry about saving money.

I worry about our student loans. They're like parasites on my back. Juggling paying them off ASAP with saving is driving me crazy. I know people with 4x the amount of student debt as me. How do they function?!

I worry about B. He's been really tired recently.

I fret about unpacking a house and making it look decent while trying to keep the expenses down.

I think about what would happen if one of us lost our job. We can make it on one salary, but it would not be pleasant.

I think about the unexpected. Would that expense put us in trouble? We need to build up a better financial cushion.

I think about what I should be doing now to prepare for the future. I know we all look backwards and have our woulda-coulda-shouldas, but it'd be nice to not have huge ones.

I think about my friends. Sometimes they're not as good to me as I want, and sometimes they're better to me than I deserve.

I worry our landlord won't let us get a dog. It's not the end of the world, but it'd be a massive disappointment.

Sometimes I think I think about things too much... and other times I worry I don't think about them enough.

Two months married!

It's been two months, already! Wow. So I thought today would be a good day for wedding reflection.

My favorite part of the wedding, honestly, was the ceremony. I knew my favorite moment would be actually MARRYING B, but how much I loved the ceremony was surprising. In my humble opinion, it was perfectly us. Church, solemn but sweet, our family and friends as witnesses, and it wasn't 5 seconds long. It was about 35-40 minutes, which, to me, was a good length of time. B and I, I feel, really had a chance to soak it in... which is saying something, considering how fast the rest of the night flew by.

The rest of the wedding, I felt like there wasn't enough time to do anything. Talk with people outside the church? Nope nope, have to run and take photos. Want to take more photos? Nope nope, have to get to the reception where people are waiting. Seriously, if I had ever needed a "pause life" button...

I have a few regrets. They by NO MEANS ruined anything. But, hindsight is 20/20, and I figured I'd finally write them down for all 2 people that may happen to get lost and read my blog.

1) I wish I had better designated a MC for the night. I had asked my sister, but I think something got lost in the translation. It's neither her nor my fault. I feel like if we had one, then it would have been more designated that this comes, then this, then that. As it was, we had toasts after dinner, and it just felt out of place, and I wish they had happened sooner.

2) I wish the wedding had been at 4 or 5 pm. Now, this would have caused problems, because hotels in town were booked due to a HUGE track event (note to world: Do not plan a wedding in town the same weekend as a big event). But, 4-5 pm means it's beginning to get dark after dinner. It felt sort of strange to be dancing and having TONS of light pour in through the windows. I also feel like more people would have made plans to stay later if the wedding had begun at 4-5 rather than 2... people came to the wedding, ate, talked for a bit, and then left 6:30/7. I wanted to get my boogie on, and that just wasn't happening.

3) Fewer people. I still have anger against a number of people who RSVP'd yes and then didn't show. It's made me question who I count as my friends, and really made me evaluate how other people treated us. We are blessed with many good friends, and, though our wedding wasn't huge to begin with, I think it could have been smaller, easily.

4) Do less. This really goes with #3, above. I really didn't mind the projects B and I took on, but I dont' like how much time things took to set up the day before as well as take down the night of the wedding. Our family and a few friends were so devoted and wonderful and giving and just helped in any way they could. While that was TOUCHING beyond belief, I wish that B and I had planned a little differently to have things be less crazy.

5) I think B and I should have created a better budget. We stayed within budget, but sometimes I think money was spent somewhere when it shoudl have been spent elsewhere. I don't know if this was possible though; we were in two different towns!

6)I wish we would have gotten outside shots of us with our families. I don't think we did. And I dont' like that. I wish I had been more forceful with the photographer that it's not just about artsy shots; it's also about family.

7) I wish we had spent less money on something else and instead hired someone to make the food go more smoothly. It did (we hired people for the actual reception), but the morning was a little crazy. I also with I had just plunked the money down for the cheapo catering dishes rather than getting different types. It worked, but there was a lot of "where'd x piece for y dish go!?" stress.

Don't get me wrong. All in all? I LOVED our wedding. Loved it. I never lost sight of the fact that it wasn't about the party; it was about marrying B. And while I wasn't STRESSED, there are things we could have done to make it more enjoyable.

I see pictures of friends, etc.... who are relaxed and just in the moment, the DAY before the wedding. They saunter to the rehearsal. Then waltz over to the rehearsal dinner. Maybe they even had a spa day. I wish we had that aspect.

Now, I realize that a lot of these people whom I'm looking up to either have family paying or debt from their wedding. And I'm REALLY glad we didn't have the debt. As for family, well, our families supported B and I through SEVEN years of post-high school education. SEVEN. EACH. Yes, we still have student loans, but not nearly as many as we would have had if we had not had our families. We are both so grateful for that, and that's why we did not want our families to pay for our wedding. We wanted that to be a thank you from us. A realization of what they did for us.

There's a new show on TV that I happened to catch an episode of two nights ago: Masters of Reception. It's this family or group that owns this gorgeous estate where weddings are held. GORGEOUS. But I don't long for that. I love where we had our ceremony, and I love where we had our reception. Not only would a place like that cost an arm and a leg (seriously: $100+ a person for food alone), but how many people before you had the same exact type of wedding? At least ours was unique.

I guess I just envy the attitude of "I get to relax because I paid x number of people to take care of stuff." But you know what? I got my man. And he's wonderful. And together we do not have the added burden of paying off our wedding. And the wedding? It was wonderful.

So long story short: I loved it. And I love him. Yes, in retrospect, there were a few things I'd change, but that's not saying i didn't enjoy myself. There's just always room for improvement. Maybe we'll have a 10-year anniversary bash!

Sticky Chicken Coma and paneer...

I made sticky chicken last night. Well, I made it technically the night before and then had it on warm all day. Next time, I'll just cook it throughout the day, but since it was a new recipe, I didn't want to not be in the house with it in the crock pot.

But, long story short: YUM.

I actually de-skinned the chicken prior to cooking. It was still pretty moist, probably because I had most of the white meat in the bottom of the pot (breast down chicken!).

I made simple mashed potatoes to go with it, and then I combined a can of turkey gravy with the drippings to make a tasty gravy (yes, I cheated a little with the can; deal with it).

B wolfed down a plate of the food and then promptly fell asleep. At 7:30. He was tired to begin with so I guess I shouldn't be that surprised. It was nice for him to say he was well-rested this morning though.

In my B-less time last night, I decided to try a new paneer recipe. It looks like it worked! I haven't tried any yet though. It's still in a pressed form but now it's in the fridge. I had great aspirations of cutting it up and tasting it this morning, but I decided to squeeze in a few extra minutes of sleep instead. Will let you know how it turns out...

Adventures last weekend

Last weekend, we were in Eugene.

My handsome husband

Eugene has a fabulous Saturday Market that we LOVE to go to and we go there every chance we get. There's always something new, something happening. Always different.

Random quartet playing.

It was the perfect day. Not too hot, not too cold, not breezy. The fish fountain looked so nice and cool, and the trickle of water could be heard throughout the booth tents.

Fish fountain (see the sculpture of the school of fish?), Eugene.

B got very creative and took this neat picture of a close-up of where the water falls over the side in the fountain.

Mini-waterfalls in fish fountain.

And, of course, it's Eugene, so you will find your odder fares too. Like TDTP-- Tie-dyed toilet paper! Yes, it's been "butt used around the world." Funny thing is, I actually bought one for B's mom as a gag gift last Christmas.

TDTP!

And, in case you're lacking, you can also buy brains, apparently. I must admit, they were quite cute, but still a little creepy for me to have as a paperweight (that size was labeled "pea brains." Cute....).

Brains for sale.

After the market, we went by a few small antique-y stores. But we didn't buy anything; they can just be SOO overpriced.

So we made our way then to our favorite restaurant: The Bierstein. It's our version of Cheers.

The staff there are all so nice. We didn't realize it, but one of the staff, Mad Dog, was just diagnosed with cancer. We happened on in at the right time: They were having a 4-hour benefit fundraiser to help fund his treatment. And look at the crowd!

Mad Dog's Cancer Fundraiser at the Beirstein

Since it was for Mad Dog, we splurged a little bit. I got a Framboise Lambic, and B got a Silver Moon Heff. Yum (my lambic, not B's heff). I'm not a big beer drinker, but I like the sweet stuff. But, Beirstein also has wine, and has the most generous pours I've ever witnessed.

Delicious cold lambic and heff at Bierstein.

The Bierstein is well-known for their WIDE selection of beers. Over 900! Too bad I don't like beer that much. I go there for their yummy paninis and wine (and occassionally their sweet beer). But, B likes beer, as you can see him here examining one of the cases. And the picture also is a good example of the countless beer...

Bierstein beer selection (and my husband intently concentrating)...

So that was our weekend in Eugene. As I get better about taking photos, I'll post more. I wolfed down my GORGEOUS caprese salad at the market before I remembered to take a photo. Alas. But it was SO good, trust me. We also went to Red Barn and got their naked coconut ice cream (yes, I splurged a LITTLE this weekend), but again, whups on the photo.

But, as a finisher, here are two pictures of Frankie and Paddington. They were all snuggled next to each other in-between the blinds and the sliding door. It was adorable. So, I snuck outside to take a photo, but doggone it-- they saw me. I think they look quite relaxed though.

Frankie and Pads, chillin' in their hiding place.

Apparently there's no privacy in this house.

Too bad guys.

You were just being too cute!

Insufferable wife.

I was full of drama yesterday.

I hate it when I'm asked "what's wrong?" and the result is a blubbery "I DON'T KNOW!" and "you just don't get it."

Sigh. You'd think being around on this earth for my length of time, I would have developed the ability to read my emotions.

Apparently not.

So psycho wife kicked in, moody, grumpy, and feeling unappreciated.

I've been feeling worn for a while. I've been the one to organize and take care of stuff. B's been chaotically busy at work. And while he's grateful, I don't think he realizes that, hello, it does not take 2 minutes to talk to an insurance company. EVER. Or organize a move. Or a wedding. Or find a new house. Or a carpool.

I made some quasi-flippant remark yesterday, B called me on it, and the drama train rolled into town. "I do so much for you and you call me out on this?"

Oh sigh.

End result: I need to take on less. Breathe more. And when I do something, I can't just let it slide by; B wants to know what happens. I guess I can't get upset if he doesn't realize I have done something. And he's a pretty darn good guy. I think I need to have goals and aspirations, but I also need to realize that I don't have to accomplish them overnight.

I guess it was made worse by the fact that we (finally) decided to have a garage instead of a storage unit, so we dragged 80% of the boxes from the garage into the rooms they need to be unpacked into.

And of course, the big bookshelf that needs to be set up? Couldn't find the freakin' screws. Finally found them around 9pm. And of course, I was then dead-set on putting up the bookshelf that had caused me so much angst. Finished at 10:40, which I regretted at 6 this morning when I left the house for work.

So there I was, in my lovely new home, surrounded by boxes and my lovely husband. And I was blubbering.

Sigh.

And no, I am not pregnant. Just an insufferable wife... well, for Sunday afternoon at least.

Happy

I love my husband. 

That is all. 

Ready for the weekend.

I am so ready for the weekend.

This month has been an exercise in diligence.

But this month, Bob and I almost have no plans. I have to meet one friend for coffee and eventually we want to pack up both our cars with stuff from his place... but otherwise: No plans.

No dinners to go to.
No people to go places with.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

While we love doing things, recently it has been packed so tightly together that we are left needing a weekend from our weekend. Move! Go here! Spend x amount of time then race across town to place y! Get up early.

We both need a weekend to sort of let the weekend guide us.

I think we may go out to dinner, maybe(?) on Saturday. That would be fun. Just the two of us.

Edith Piaf Record

I just got an email that my Edith Piaf record has shipped. I cannot wait to hear her voice coming through our old record player.

Brilliant.

Parental Visitation

My parents are visiting tonight. They live in Southern California, but my dad knows how to fly, so now that he's retired they have this tiny airplane and they hop all over the place. Apparently, this weekend, they're going to some event in Washington. Since they have to practically fly over me, they are stopping by.
(this isn't his airplane, but it's the same type, so you get the idea)
I'm looking forward to seeing them. They want to take B and me out to dinner, but that's kind of hard since there isn't anywhere spectacular to go out to eat. The city where B works: no problem! Lots of places. The city where I work: no problem! Lots of places. But where we live? Um....

I'd be more than happy to cook, but I think my dad wants to avoid me working in the kitchen instead of visiting. Fair point. So I think I'm going to try to nab some food from up here and take it home in the vanpool this afternoon. But, I don't have my car, so if the place I'm thinking of doesn't deliver, then we may be up the creek without a paddle. There are a few chain places (Olive Garden, etc), but hmm.

It's also sort of strange. I normally sort of freak out when my parents visit and clean everything. Right now, we're very SLOWLY unpacking and getting the house set up. So it's understandable that the place isn't in tip-top condition. Plus, B and I work a lot. So, it's like the first time I haven't killed myself preparing for their visit. I do want to rush home tonight and make the bed though....

It's also the first time they'll visit me in a house. I've always had apartments (with the exception of when I house-sat for 6 months). And, it's the first time they're visiting B and me after we're married.

I'm sure it will be fun! I just have to get this food thing sorted out. And they're only here for tonight.

Jedi Master

My boss just called me "padawan."

I guess I'm on my way to becoming a Jedi.

Sweet.

I want the green light saber, please.