Bob: While you're in the kitchen, can you bring me my nerds?
Bob: BOTH packages (assuming I'll steal one).
Bob: UNOPENED (assuming I'll bring him both but open one and eat a few).
Bob: ........ Ok, what's the catch?
Bob: You're being completely honest?
I come back in, toss the packages at him, both of them unopened. I'm smirking.
Bob: .... what's the catch?
Bob: You opened my Skittles and took some didn't you?
Bob: Bailey (the golden retriever, the kindest beast in the world, 90% asleep under his feet), bite her in the butt.
Staking the Growing Tomato Plants
9 hours ago