Glamorous Pregnancy

We're nearing the final days of this pregnancy. I didn't expect glamour, but I didn't expect things so far from it either.

Case in point:

Today I was fighting back heartburn acid. I bent over to get tums (they're ever-present in my life) out of my purse, and I inadvertently burped, effectively snorting acid into my nose, which set off my eyes watering and nose running.

VERY glamorous, indeed.

Cantaloupes

Bob to Bailey: Want to go on a walk this morning?

Bailey: (wag wag oh so happy)

Bob: We could even take Mom!

Me: Mom could come with you for a little while until her feet and ankles swell up to the size of cantaloupes. 

Bob: But they're such pretty, delicate cantaloupes...!

Pregnancy is glamorous.

Distracting Baby.

Bob: I got us free opera tickets for tomorrow from a coworker.

Me: Oh that's great! I didn't feel like spending that money.

Bob: Well, I would have spent that money and gone with you had I remembered it and not been distracted.

Me: You were distracted? By what?

Bob: By you.

Me: By ME???

Bob: Yes, you and that bump. VERY distracting. Made me forget about the opera. I think it's part of your overall plan to make me not spend money. Distract Bob with the baby bump!!