First off, let me say our short trip away was wonderful. Photos to come when I get the camera cable cord (have the camera but not the cord, doggone it).
But yesterday, the closer we got to home, the grumpier I got. I had been rested, but suddenly, I felt exhausted.
Home recently has meant tiredness and frustration. Up early, home late, then too tired to do much of anything before going to bed and repeating.
I'm in a pit. A rut. A hold pattern. And I don't like it. It's made me mopey, sad, and just depressing to be around. B is baffled, and despite his attempts, I still remain gloomy in the evenings.
I think I just need to suck it up and finish the jobs at hand. Make it so the garage is not a pit. Clean up the house. Open blinds and let the light in.
I'm not upset with B. I love him dearly and I love my life with him. So, that's not it.
I think I have the habit of building up expectations. Things will be a certain way! I know it. And then B does something different or things don't turn out or we don't finish a project. It leaves me having to adjust my expectations.
I'm just sick of being a mope. It really makes me no fun to be around.
But what did come abundantly clear this weekend is: It's not B. It's something we've done near home. It was the most fun of weekends. I am so in love with my husband. But as we got closer to home, the grumpiness returned.
So new goal: this has to get turned around!
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