Tuesday, September 8, 2009

In a pit.

First off, let me say our short trip away was wonderful. Photos to come when I get the camera cable cord (have the camera but not the cord, doggone it).

But yesterday, the closer we got to home, the grumpier I got. I had been rested, but suddenly, I felt exhausted.

Home recently has meant tiredness and frustration. Up early, home late, then too tired to do much of anything before going to bed and repeating.

I'm in a pit. A rut. A hold pattern. And I don't like it. It's made me mopey, sad, and just depressing to be around. B is baffled, and despite his attempts, I still remain gloomy in the evenings.

Any suggestions?

I think I just need to suck it up and finish the jobs at hand. Make it so the garage is not a pit. Clean up the house. Open blinds and let the light in.

I'm not upset with B. I love him dearly and I love my life with him. So, that's not it.

I think I have the habit of building up expectations. Things will be a certain way! I know it. And then B does something different or things don't turn out or we don't finish a project. It leaves me having to adjust my expectations.

I'm just sick of being a mope. It really makes me no fun to be around.

But what did come abundantly clear this weekend is: It's not B. It's something we've done near home. It was the most fun of weekends. I am so in love with my husband. But as we got closer to home, the grumpiness returned.

So new goal: this has to get turned around!

3 comments:

  1. sorry if this sounds from "left field", but maybe when those times creep upon you, maybe step aside and just thank God for everything you've got. we really are blessed in so many ways, and I know you know it. you're enjoying the blessings of marriage that I can only dream of, for starters :)
    Pray! and pray often.

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  2. Thanks Pete. That is a wonderful sentiment that I need to recall more often. I am very lucky! I'm also a firm believer in all happens for a reason, so perhaps this is just a challenge to strive above.

    You have a very vibrant attitude.

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  3. not sure what to say, i usually get myself out of ruts by sewing or being otherwise productive. it makes me feel like i have a purpose and am contributing and then things look better.

    all that to say, on the camera thing? can;t you just take the memory card out of your camera and pop it in the computer and pull the photos off it?

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