Coveting what I can but cannot have.

A while back, I made the decision (aka: stupid mistake) to poke around online at houses. This became a hobby, but a rather pointless one since we cannot buy for a while. As a new independent contractor, my income does not get calculated into our overall income until I've had this income steadily for a while. So, our calculated income for a mortgage then becomes what B makes. This dramatically lowers our purchasing power.

This is very frustrating.

It is even more frustrating when you find the perfect house. It's in a good neighborhood that would only go up in value. It's drivable in bad weather. It has good parking. It's near major roads, but not near enough that you'd hear them or have to worry about them. It has a half acre. Secluded. It's near grocery stores. It has a Craftsman interior and unique exterior. It has enough room that someday, when we have kidlets, we won't have to move because of space. It has a woodstove and a big kitchen. It has a view. It's oriented in a way where the heat would do good things in the winter and it would stay cooler in the summer. It is not a fixer (we don't want a dramatic fixer), but there are a couple of cosmetic things that we could do eventually. It has wood floors, and it's right by our favorite park. We could bike to our works.

It's a pretty damn nifty house.

It gets even niftier and more frustrating when it remains on the market. And then, late last week, the asking price drops by $20k. And, the photos online are clearly staged, meaning no owners currently living there, thus increasing the likelihood of them NEEDING to sell the home.

Drat drat drat.

Even if my income WAS counted, we still would be hesitant. My job is not protected, meaning that if something bad happens, I wouldn't receive unemployment to help me until the next job is obtained. And the job economy isn't great. We need a bit more of a cushion and income security before we obtain a mortgage that would suck up that much of our income.

This makes me want to freeze time. I don't want anyone to buy that house. And, I don't want interest rates to go up. Just freeze both. Wait for us.

Initially, the plan was to wait a few years, gather up a big downpayment, and giving me the time to find and keep a salaried, non-independent contractor, job. But now, with interest rates so low (nearing record levels), we're willing to hurry up the plan, meaning that the thing holding us up is my job.

Dang it.

I hate that feeling. I'm torn. I don't want to hurry up and take just any old job. I want to be happy and make my next move truly permanent. But, I also want to hurry up and FIND ONE because of the housing situation right now. BUT, our current home is perfectly lovely. We don't want to move right away. And as much as we love the for sale house, we *should* know that if the perfect one exists now, another perfect one will exist later. Let's ignore that this is the only house for sale in the neighborhood. No joke.

Drat.

This is what I get for looking at things I cannot have.....

Chooo choo goes the pity party train.