Friday, January 8, 2010

Ramen, I loathe you.

I've thought about this post for a few months now, so forgive me the grumpiness this morning.

Ramen, I loathe you.
Every night, I try to cook a decent meal. And you know what? It tastes pretty good. I know this from years of feeding people. Not only do people finish their meals, but they generally go back for seconds and thirds. I don't cook the same thing again and again, I vary it up.

But now? I'm at my wit's end.

My husband has a problem. He has an addiction. Ramen.

He will eat half of whatever is put in front of him and then fix a Ramen for himself. Every time he does this, it makes me want to tear out my hair. It'd be fine if it was once in a while. But, dear readers, I can't remember the last time he actually finished anything I put in front of him. We're not talking about elephant-sized, gargantuan proportions either. We're talking a smaller/normal portions.

It makes me feel horrible.

I swear, if it wasn't for Ramen and his evil companion Bagels, my husband would be thin as a rail. Why? Because those two items make up 99.9% of his diet. Ok, not that much, but still a hefty chunk.

And what's worse of all is that he can't break the Ramen addiction, even when his wife is in the kitchen ready to pop a vein in frustration.

Now, my husband doesn't have a ton of faults. And I love him incredibly. But honey? On this issue? You're driving me mad. It does not make someone feel well when they work as long as you do at their job, then come home and cooks dinner for you, and you basically spit in her face by eating a) bad for you, b) containing enough salt to salt a cow, and c) packaged, processed noodles containing who knows what NOODLES. Our compost pile is filling up with the leftovers of meals you've wasted, meanwhile making me depressed.

And, it should also be noted that the last meal he made? That BBQ beef that did not turn out and was tough as nails that accompanied the rice that was too lemony? I ate it. Because I love you. Yes, we discussed changes to be made to it, but I cleaned my plate. Because I know you put effort into it and for that, I'll do anything.

But I doubt I can break him of the addiction. It's too strong, and its grasp is too tight.

So sweetie, from now on, all you get is Ramen and Bagels. I'm making J's creamy enchiladas tonight, FOR MYSELF. You get Ramen and Bagels, since that's what you'll be eating eventually anyway.

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