Bucket of KFC.

Our chickens are free-range. We haven't had a problem with raccoons, so their coop is open. They go into it at night and are able to hop out when they're ready to wake up. Someday hopefully soon, their new coop will be built, and they will be locked up every night. Until then, they have the freedom to come and go...

Or so I thought.

Remember my black copper maran, KFC? She's a) decided to sleep in the lilac tree by our back door, and b) decided to wake up and cluck extremely loudly when the first rays of sunlight hit her.

Normally, this is around 6:30 or 7. I can handle that; I put the dogs outside and she shuts up.

But this morning, it was 5:30. Too early for the dogs (who didn't even follow me out of the bedroom when I got up to shut up the hen), and I'm worried the neighbors are going to hear. I've been sick, so I'm pretty grumpy at the hen, while meanwhile, my husband sleeps like a log.

So.

This is what happens to a hen who squawks at 5:30am.
Yes, that's a bucket on top of the hen and the heavy food bucket on top to keep the bucket on her.

Don't report me to animal abusers. She fell immediately back asleep and was warm and content. And, most importantly: she shut up.

So, out on our back patio this morning, we had a bucket of KFC.
Photo proof that no hen was harmed in this morning's escapades.