Wednesday, April 1, 2009


This wedding is really a massive test in expectations. What to expect, who to expect it from, whom to have no expectations of, squashing previous notions of how people should behave, etc.

I was never the girl to dream about the perfect wedding. For me, it was (and is) all about WHOM I'm marrying, not about the party. Even now, as B and I find ourselves knee-deep in work... it's STILL all about each other and the vows and the commitment and the love, NOT about the party.

But, I did have expectations on how certain people should act. This has really been a lesson in moving past what you thought would happen and accepting the situation.

People are naturally very stubborn, I think. And if someone's decided they will behave that way, well, then that's what you have to accept. What you want or hoped for doesn't matter. Sure, you can get upset and say "but... it's a wedding", but that doesn't mean they'll change their minds.

I'm normally pretty good at accepting reality. Something bad happens and I can accept it, tackle it head on, and move on. But I have been having a struggle accepting how some people are behaving and how they are treating me. Hurtful, negative, and unsupportive. They have said mean things.

But what I realize now is I just need to treat this situation the same as any other. The fact that it is a person doesn't matter-- it's reality and I need to accept it. I also need to learn to keep an open mind. I need to not have pre-set in stone beliefs of how people will act. Believe me, so far mine have been dashed and it's taught me to not have pre-set beliefs of how people will act.

So I'm letting go. I can't control people (obviously), and letting go really does make me feel released. Load off my back. If people promise to help or do something, I will have their created expectations... but not mine.

I feel free.

1 comment:

  1. Visiting from Eireann's blog, and I wanted to say that you have a very great outlook on the marriage process. Your so correct in saying its about you getting married, not about the party!

    Once your married, I would love to have you as a couple on my Meet the Newlyweds interview.